I have a thing were I want one “moment” with Braxton every day. It’s hard to describe the moment – it’s just something that happens, and isn’t planned.
Like, two nights ago I’d just gotten out of the shower, and he was fighting sleep, so I went to change his diaper and lay him back down. Well, when I leaned down to get him from his crib, he noticed my wet hair and kept trying to touch it. After his diaper was changed, I was holding him facing me and he just smiled through his binky and just started running his fingers through my hair, laughing.
It’s moments like that – the ones that give me chills, and make me tear up and smile. The ones that I’m going to remember as the years go on.
It was a moment, in his night lighted room, him all warm from his fuzzy pj’s, smiling behind his binky that let me know I was secretly made for this.
Now that’s not saying we don’t have our bad times- trust me, yesterday was a bad day all around for me and Brax. It was just one of those awful days that snowballs and keeps getting worse.
But, again, it’s moments that make them brighter when I thought the day was just going to get worse (which, trust me, I didn’t know how it could). He’d reach up to me whining, I’d pick him up and he’d just push his arms beside himself, under mine, and lay his head down on my shoulder and just lay there for a few seconds.
Seconds. That’s all I get, but, man…. They’re worth it.
As I’m sitting here typing this, I keep looking over at him playing in the living room, only a baby gate between us, and I just want to smother him in kisses. J He’s growing up way too fast, and there may be days I get overwhelmed and need a break, but he’s totally worth it.
Becoming a mom has made me into a sappy mess – now I’ll say I’ve always been sensitive, but now I cry at everything, good or bad. I’ve turned into the mom that sneaks into his room to check on him while he’s sleeping, and if he’s sleeping in a weird postion, I’ll call Rich in there, and we’ll just stare and smile.
Yes, I know… vomit. It’s deliciously cheesy being that kind of mom.