Monday, March 8, 2010


  The colonoscopy wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it be.... now the day before where I lived on the toilet with the trots wasn't that fun. Ok, so I actually shed a few tears at one point, but whatever.

 I had to check in at 9am on friday, and they took me and Rich back around 10-10:15ish. Luckily I hadn't gone to the bathroom yet, so I was able to put a very little amount of urine in the cup to make sure we weren't pregnant - and I'd started 15 minutes before we left for the hospital that morning, so we were almost 100% sure we weren't. *lol*
  After that I got into the too-small-for-a-fat-kid-gown, my awesome hat thingy, those no-skid socks and I kept my undies and bra on - I mean, they weren't messing with the boobies, so why take off my sports bra?
  I was wrong, so I had to take it all off. But, wait, what about my period and no undies?! (I think I can narrow the time I've worn 'pons on my two hands, they're uber umfortable with my tilted uterus. And, it wasn't a heavy enough flow to wear one anyway.) She gave me a long pad, didn't take off the sticky and said to put it between my legs, I wouldn't be long anyway.

  I had an awesome in-take nurse named Norm, we cut up and had a good time. Rich took pictures and watched "Airplane 3" or something.
  We discussed I was allergic to anything (yes!), and then I got a nifty red braclet letting them know. All was going well... until he said Dawn was coming in to to give me an IV. Nooo! Oh, and then he mentioned that my main nurse during the procedure was going to be Patty Clack. Oh yes - I started singing "Patty cake...." in my head, so I felt a bit better.

  Dawn came in smacking her Bubbaliscious gum, which at that time I didn't notice - and I always notice gum smacking, it drives me insane. She was so pretty ad looked our age, but come to find out she has a 14 and 4 year old kids. Wow. Time has been good to her!
  Can you tell we get to know our nurses?! *lol*
  Since I'd been pooped out everything the day before, I was beyond dehydrated, so there wasn tmany options beside the underside of my wrist. I crinched - I always have good veins for a fat kid, always. I'm kid of proud of that, no one has to hunt for them like you'd think.
  Anyways, underside of the wrist is a bitch... she took the time to numb it first, then put the IV in. Thank goodness I couldn't feel it - I've gotten them there before and it hurts like all-get-out. But, she did awesome, and I didn't have to kick her in the shin.

  A few minutes after that they told Rich to hit the bricks and took me into a darker room - where I automatically asked why I got the dark scary room. Nurses chuckled, one responded it's because "It's Where the Wild Things Are" - and then we talked about the book for a second.
  Mrs Patty Cake - I mean, Clack said hello - I then told her how her name made me smile and sing in my head.
  They made me get on my left side - didn't they know I'ma ride side sleeper? - and then came the big tube of white medicine to be shot in my viens. She said that since it was in a sensitive spot it was going to hurt, but to keep my wrist bent back a little. It was painful, I remember saying "Man that hurts", I got a bit lite headed, I said "Here comes sleepy time" and that was it.
  Thank goodness.

  I woke up about 10-15 minutes after it was done, and the song "Where is the Love" was playing on their radio, and I proceeded to sing some of it softly - my voice sucks, and I was in a room full of people who'd just gotten out of surgery, I didn't want to give them nightmares.

  I remember trying to resituate myself in the bed, and then all these damn bells and whistles started going off, and it made me laugh. I pictured in my head all these nurses running to my aide to make sure I wasn't dying or something.
  Nothing. No one. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Want me to carry on? You get the idea. No one came! I'm sure they looked my way, but sine I was sans glasses, I couldn't tell.
  Eventually a nurse came over to shut the machines off, I told her Iwasn't dead, but I did need to go the bathroom. Now. She said in a minute, and then the belly pains started - you know the kind , the ones that make you hold your stomach because you know your butt is about to explode.
  She finally came back, and wheeled me towards the bathroom, I went in there, and she'd told me to pull the help cord when I was done so she could be there. Guess what? SHe was gone! *lol*
  I remember poking my head out, anothe rnurse came to me and I said I was fine, but the nurse had said for me to pull it to get help. Only downfall was the first nurse had pushed the gurney too far forward and locked the brakes making it difficult for the second nurse to move when she'd come to the front of it to help.
  I got to my room where I asked to change into m y clothes - which I did by myself, I was really waking up! Rich came in right after I'd gotten my shirt on, and then the doctor. I finally got to mee the man who'd taken the journey of my colon. He wasn't what I expected - but his quick bedside manner was. He was in, telling me everythign was fine, no polyps (Mom had some in her 30's) and to come back in three y ears. Wait, hold on... can I get a handshake, please? I did. And then he was out. *lol* Kind of like the trip to the colon.
  A nurse came in to discharge me, told me the same thing the doctor did and I was free to go. I was going to walk out myself, but when I stood up I guess I swayed a bit, and the nurse and Rich wouldn't let me - so off I went in a wheelchair instead.

  We were home around 1230pm, after a small detour to Wendy's to get us lunch, and then laid up in bed watching "Friends" for a few hours. A nap, water, food, more TV and that was how my friday was spent. :)

Me after I'd gotten changed - sending out text messages to everyone.
And then April made a smart remark, so I had to stick my tongue out at her. It's all in love, people.

And then April made a smart remark, so I had to stick my tongue out at her. It's all in love, people.

And me about 25-30 minutes after. You can see where the IV was, I bled like a stuck pig! Now it's a nasty bruise, and I couldn't really use that hand all weeend.


  1. Glad you made it through okay! Better you than me though. I think I'll just deal with my constipation after reading that, thank you...LOL!

  2. Ha ha, you are special. You can even make a post about a colonoscopy fun to read!I am glad that it went well.

    I remember when Art did his, the doctor came in to talk to me with a video and a big speech ready. I told him that I didn't really need to see the instant replay, thought that the whole, "I have seen your colon" would kill our sex life & to just tell me if he was good. He was and so are you. YEAH all of us!

  3. :( Sorry you had to go through that! I hate the hospital... Unless I'm getting a baby out of the deal. But surgery? Blech. Glad you're ok. Heal quickly.

  4. I'm glad it went still sounds scary!

    Your poor wrist! Omg!!

    And I thought it was cute how you got to know all of your nurses. I bet they loved you both!


  5. The nurses are usually the greatest part of having an outpatient.
    My back end doctor once offered to have me do a colonoscopy right in his office while awake. I told him that I would definitely need to be asleep for that. Maybe for a week.

    Good reporting on what you went through!! Nobody really knows unless someone talks about it. :)


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