sometimes i get in this awful-crazy kind of funk, and its hard to get out of it, and i haaaate it. its hard to get in a funk with a kid..... amd a husband... and pets... teenager.... family.... friends. you dont have time,nwhhich doesnt seem too damn fair to me. i mean, come on already?! i wipe your ass, clean up dishes, vaccum, have sex, listen to teenage drama, pet you, and just all around have to be everyones everything. its exhausting. its just so damn tiring simetimes. theres are just moments when you dont want to any of it for a while, just put your headphones on, blast some music thatnjust forces your body to move with out your help, your head bobbing along, throw yr hand in the air at the awesome drum hit that reverberates in your chest, and your eyes close, and you just lose yourself those few moments. sometomes its all you need to help bring yourself back to the reality youre sitting in. younrealize that after hearing the same song on repeat has been alpmost thereaputic, and you need to change it something it a little less 'funk like', something that makes younwant to get up and dance with your husband, your sick-fussy toddler and just bust out in silly dance moves that leave you in giggles.
some days as a parent, wife, confidant is tiring. sometimes its overwhleming, it can crush you if you let it. the last few months ive had a lot of these moments. so, with that being said, ill be making an appointment ti get myself on my own dose of crazy-meds. :) ive been on meds a few times to help deal woth rich's ptsd over the last eight years, so i have no qualms with saying i need some help for a bit until i cam get life back on track. my rollercoaster track is wobbly right now. but it always gets straight aain, ive got the faith to keep working on it.